Thoughts...

Psych, what is it?  Where does it come from and where does it go?  Some days it is full on and others, well, those are the days I can barley find the motivation to get out of bed.  With the exception of today, the past few weeks have been great (in the world of psych).  I wake up ready to go, energized, only to red-line myself with a horsepower enriched cup of coffee.  It is great and I feel great. 

I mentioned this to my friend Tom the other day.  I am happy.  I enjoy my life and I am becoming more confident in myself and what  I am doing.  I am not sure if this is correlated to growing up or a general confidence.  This confidence is pronounced in my energized state.  However, last night at work I was slapped in the face with a demoralizing "talk."  One of my mangers, (who shall remain nameless) is on thin ice.  They have been warned twice about their behavior towards the servers.  Basically their job is on the line.  Now this manger is on a tirade.  Unfortunately for me, I felt the brunt of this last night.  Good for 'you,' make me feel like shit because your fucking yourself.  That was the gist of the talk.  Either way, it really made me second guess my new found happiness.  In writing this though, I am feeling better and invigorated.  I am still impressionable and easily embarrassed about myself.  I have never been interested in being the most popular person, but I never want to be the person who upsets other people.  So yes, I feel wrong when people don't like me.  What don't they like me, what did I do?  It is mind boggling.  However, I am not so worried about that as I once was.  Since this is at work I am more self conscience.  I want my co-workers to like me.  I need to remember it isn't me, this manager has issues that need to be resolved.

Speaking of work, where are all the people?  I know memorial day is a few weeks away, but it is slow and I am not making much money.  This is a problem.        

Back to the topic to hand.  Emotions and why/how they change like the tides.  Obviously they are not cyclic, but they change at will.  More detrimental; emotions are impacted by the people you are surrounded by.  Therefore the issue.

Inquisitively intrigued by life, I know this is apart of the bigger picture.  One day it will all make sense.  Until then I am going to do my best to sort it out, and live life.  I am uncertain of the future, all I know is I want it to be fun, amazing, thought provoking, full of love, adventure, and purpose.